According to Dingo, since Thanksgiving is over, it's now time for Shanksgiving. That special time of year when we honor all of the people we'd like to shank. My list would be longer, but I've had five days off from work, so my anger level has subsided some...
Since I've talked about this nonstop and SamTheButcher asked for the recipe, here it is. It is for the non-baking, non-cooking types like me. But it is delicious! I had to make FOUR (one for lunch, one for my sister to take back to college, one for my niece to take back to dental school, and one for my niece/nephew so they wouldn't feel left out)! Seriously!
Ingredients: For the sprinkling: 1/2 cup peanut butter (your choice if you want smooth or chunky)
2/3 cup powdered sugar
graham cracker pie crust
small package vanilla pudding (instant)
milk
2 TBS peanut butter
Cool Whip
To make the sprinkling: Mix 1/2 cup pb and 2/3 cup powdered sugar until it is in crumbles. Pour some of it into the bottom of the pie crust. (Keep a little of it to sprinkle on top of the pie at the end). To make the filling: Make the pudding. Then add 2 TBS of peanut butter. Whip until it is smooth. Pour it into the pie crust. Top it with whipped cream (Cool Whip). Sprinkle the remaining topping on.
Voila! Put in the fridge until ready to be served! YUM!!!
And here is my list of Thankfulness (I mean, it does end...it's a blog post for crying out loud):
Hubby doesn't mind that I cook like shit.
I'm not at work today listening to Bathroom Boy say stupid ass things like, "My right foot is flat footed."
I'm gonna eat me some peanut butter pie!!! And rolls! And sweet potato souffle!!
IBS medicine.
You. And You. And You. AND ESPECIALLY YOU!
The neighbors have great senses of humor (all of them...). The ones across the street put up blue "Christmas" lights because they know I hate them. Then the ones next door pointed them out to me. Christmas lights aren't blue, you Silly Neighbors!!! What they don't know is that I'm going to replace them.....
Tomorrow I decorate for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lights galore (white OR color but all the same AND all the same size.....).
My Christmas shopping is almost done.
My family is HILARIOUS and I get to see them today.
Hubby's family is HILARIOUS AND intellectual and I get to see them today too!
My kitties.
GREAT friends whom I can always count on!
My sis.
Shanking jokes.
Finding this blog and where it would lead and how much I would love it!
Happy Thanksgiving to my US friends! Happy Thursday to my Non-US Friends!!
Every holiday Hubby and I have issues. I was raised in a very schedule oriented Catholic family. Hubby was raised in a very free-flowing hippie family.
For example, for two weeks I've been asking him what his mother's plan is for Thanksgiving and if we need to bring anything. His response has been, "We don't need to bring anything and we can show up whenever." Ok. Sounds good.
My family decided about three weeks ago that I was in charge of bringing the pies and that lunch would be at 1:00. We should arrive between noon and 12:30.
Last weekend, I saw he had written on a piece of paper, "Get vegetables for Thanksgiving." I asked him about it. He said, "We need to bring vegetables to Mom's for dinner."
So I asked, "What are we bringing? A salad? What time do we need to be there?" He'd find out.
TODAY, he still hasn't bought any vegetables and doesn't know what time dinner is. I told him that we aren't coming BACK to the house to cook vegetables so he'll need to find something cold to take and find out what time we have to be there.
He smiled and said, "It's funny that in 14 years, neither of us has changed. I still like chaos on holidays and you still like schedules. I'm sorry I haven't changed."
I smiled back and said, "I'm sorry I haven't changed. And I'm gonna need that schedule."
P.S. You can only REALLY sue for things like physical harm, not following a special education plan, sexual abuse, or neglect (like I left the classroom and your kid put a pencil in his eye). My taking your daughter into the hall (where other people were) and telling her that if she isn't nicer and making better choices then she'll find herself without friends doesn't really fall into those areas.
P.S.S. Perhaps you also shouldn't think that your daughter is such a 'sweet' girl. Especially since she's had girl drama for the last three years. That's not really normal.
I'm just saying.
Seriously, any ideas for new jobs?
Be sure to visit the other 'Out of Tuners'! Happy Tuesday!
It's good that Sarah Palin isn't calling herself a maverick anymore. That term was really getting old.
But did she really look up the term rogue? Because if she did, she'd have found these definitions from Webster's:
rogue
1 : vagrant, tramp
2 : a dishonest or worthless person : scoundrel
3 : a mischievous person : scamp
4 : a horse inclined to shirk or misbehave
5 : an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological variation
After two days of wondering if this class is the worst class I've ever had and if perhaps I just can't handle them, Hubby looked at me and said, "You've had way worst classes. Besides that F.U. Boy, the rest just sounds like a LOT of piddly ongoing stuff. I think you've just had two overly busy weeks and that stuff is on your nerves."
To which I started crying.
So I guess I don't need meds. I just need to work out and think of the positives and remember that at least:
Nobody has been removed from my room due to an arrest warrant (my 1st year of teaching).
My roommate isn't dating a married man (my 2nd year of teaching).
Hubby and I live together rather than an hour apart (my first two years of teaching).
I don't have a schizophrenic student (my 1st year of teaching).
My science book is updated (my first two years the book was copy written in 1967).
I haven't caught any of my students behind the Circle K shoving items into his book bag (my 2nd year of teaching).
I haven't broken up any fist fights since year 5 or so (this is year 13 - YIKES!)
I haven't had a bipolar mom off her meds yelling at me daily since about year 6.
I have a new principal who actually backs up the teachers!!!!!!
Year 13 is ALMOST halfway.....
I have tenure.
I know my material inside and out and am not going home each night to figure out what I need to teach (years 1-5).
I haven't been called a "Bitch" to my face by a student since year 2. (Awww, I miss the inner city middle school....).
I realized through teaching that there are way more crazy people than anyone could have ever imagined (even if they come off as normal as first...SCRATCH the surface, People!)
No way on God's Green Earth do I want kids. Especially with the Crazy People populating the Earth in such great numbers.... But I really do hope more of you Sane People have more! Based on the kids in my class, more Crazy People are now having kids than Sane People. And yes, I know, I may be to blame here. Unless you consider me Crazy, then you're welcome. I'm not having children.
And if this gratitude listing doesn't help, I'll be sure to go to the doc for happy pills. Don't worry.
If your child had to have the Assistant Superintendent come up to "babysit" him because the principal was out and he got in-school suspension for being disrespectful to many people, you really shouldn't call up to school the next day to complain that I threw away his hand sanitizer that he was squirting everywhere.
Since you've read about how fucked up my class is and how grumpy I've been lately, I thought I'd take a moment to write down some of the things I'm thankful for:
I have indoor plumbing. For real. That's important to me. Especially now that it's getting cold outside.
Nobody has puked in my room this year (and yes, I'm knocking on wood).
I have tenure. This will be especially important if I continue to piss off Administration.
Another week, another day I've pissed off someone. I'm on a roll, Folks. On. A. Roll.
So, enjoy one of the songs I listen to daily as I drive to work.
And if you're joining in, I'd love to see what YOU listen to on your way to work (besides NPR, which I also listen to).
And really? Sarah Palin. You suck so much. I can't stand it.
"A self-styled "hockey mom" during the 2008 campaign, Palin directed her at-times tart tongue at CBS TV anchorwoman Katie Couric and Levi Johnston, who fathered a child out-of-wedlock with Palin's daughter Bristol and has since become a Palin critic.
'NEANDERTHAL TRIBE'
Palin said Couric's questions during their series of interviews during the campaign -- which critics said exposed Palin's lack of intellectual depth -- had "annoyed" her and therefore left the perception she was "unqualified."
"I thought she was asking about this Neanderthal tribe up there in Alaska," Palin said of Couric's questions about which newspapers and magazines she regularly read.
Palin recalled being confronted by Couric backstage following a thrilling campaign stop.
"There's the perky one, with the microphone, with the questions," Palin said disparagingly.
"You're pretty perky, too," Winfrey remarked.
Asked about Johnston, Palin said she did not want to respond to his criticisms, which have included comments that she is a poor parent and not getting along with husband Todd.
"We don't want to mess up the gig he's doing: aspiring porn," Palin cracked, referring to his appearance in Playgirl, an online magazine that features nude men. "I also saw I didn't go to hockey games. There are so many untruths." Levi is still welcome to come to dinner next week for the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday with the Palins, she added. "He's family."
Good to know, Sarah. Glad to hear you talk about your daughter's baby daddy like that.
So there you have it! Happy Tuesday! Go visit some of the other suckers who are taking a risk at the singing (but really, they are in tune, so they shouldn't call their's OUT of Tune....).
Hello? Anyone out there? Do I still have any readers???
Whew! Last week was a fucking LONG ass week! Here's a low down:
Bathroom Boy pooped his pants on Monday (which you know...5th grade here, People!).
Pissed off an Aide who then told another Special Ed teacher who then came to bitch me out...Hence the "Why are you even talking?" comment. But I shut that down by getting the principal involved.
Bathroom Boy told our Social Studies teacher that his "wenis" hurt and he couldn't concentrate on his social studies test.
Bathroom Boy's mom at conference asked me how I liked the origami he made me. I answered by saying, "It was fine but like I said to him, he can't make those during class."
Bathroom Boy's dad at conference only had one question. "Can he go back to his desk and get a paper he needs for Boy Scouts?"
No parents were mad at me during conferences. LOTS were upset with their children.
FU Boy was cussed out by a different student's parent on his way to school on Tuesday. It really wasn't FU Boy's fault. The principal had to call the police.
The Science Fair was on Thursday. I hate the Science Fair. It has no purpose. NONE. And I am the science teacher!
I met a mom that reminded me of Dingo. She works with Hubby. It made me miss Dingo. A lot.
I had a 7:05 a.m. gyno appointment. SERIOUSLY! Nobody's whoooha needs to be awaken like that! But my Irish Dr. who looks like a mix between Sean Connery and Santa Claus is the best and no longer works past 2 p.m. What's a girl to do?
I had to explain to my principal why this is hanging up outside my room:
(We had an armed forces theme at the beginning of the year. My class was Army. This Army man was in the hall along with some tanks. The kids' names were on red, white, and blue stars. Above it there was a banner that said, "Be all that you can be in Mrs. Jules' Class!".
The Social Studies teacher and I have an ongoing battle about Barry Manilow. And one day, Barry's face showed up on the Army man. Then, other people have been decorating him according to the holiday.
The dressed up dog showed up this week because a Mean Team teacher wants a little dog to dress up. The rest of us consider that one step close to the cuckoo crazy line...You know, where Exercise Queen lives. So we're making a LOT of fun of her. And someone put that up there.
Yes, this is how we amuse ourselves during the day.......)
So thanks, if you hung in there with me! This week will be a busy one too, unfortunately!!!
This week is Parent/Teacher Conferences. Some years I don't mind them. This year I do. I only have ONE student with straight A's. I have THREE others who made the Honor Roll. And even though my class just got an award for being the most Responsible in their specials classes (art, music, library, gym, etc), I can really only think that's because the other classes are so bad.
In other words, this is in no way, shape or form my best class.
I do have some good students in there. But I also have quite a few "back talkers", a couple mean girls, the FU Boy, and the Bathroom Boy.
And this week, I get to tell each of their parents why their child isn't succeeding or living up to their potential.
Some of the reasons:
1. Your child is spending too much time focusing on his/her friends on not on school.
2. Your child doesn't ask questions when he/she doesn't understand. And even when I pull your child back to explain it further, he/she still won't ask questions.
3. Your child is too focused on being the class clown.
4. Your child isn't doing his/her homework.
5. Your child isn't bringing BACK his/her homework.
6. Your child has missed a lot of school and has fallen behind.
7. Your child isn't focusing while in class. Therefore he/she doesn't understand the assignment when he/she gets home.
None of these is easy to say to parents. And believe me, each of the parents I meet with will give their child the "disappointed parent" glare. And about 70% of those parents will follow through with whatever threat they make that night. The other 30% will make those threats and not one thing will change. NOT ONE.
Add that to my list reasons to NOT go into teaching.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tomorrow is H1N1 Vaccination Day at my school....
Why does anyone listen to Glenn Beck? Can people see that he's a huge douche bag? Wow. Yeah, like I need to hear HIS opinion on medicine.
I'm sure by now you've all seen the preview for that movie The Box.
When Hubby and I first saw it, I looked at him and said, "Oh, I'd push the button for a million bucks. One person would be randomly killed? Sure."
He turned to me and gaped. He said, "Who did I marry?" And got up and left the room.
I politely reminded him that I work with the public and there are a lot of DNA lines that need to be stomped out. Survival of the fittest is there for a reason.
He wasn't buying it.
Then last night we saw the preview again.
I turned to him. "Seriously? You wouldn't push the button?"
He smiled and said, "Do you know what happens? She pushes the button and her husband kills her. THAT'S the random person who dies. So would you still push the button?"
I smiled back and said, "Hell yeah. I'm not afraid of dying and you'd have a million bucks."
He laughed and said, "But I'd be in jail for something like vehicular manslaughter."
I smiled. "That sentence is so short. Enjoy your money."
P.S. Watching 60 Minutes last night, I said to Hubby, "I love her voice."
He said, "Yeah. It's sexy. Just like yours.... Wait. No. Not like yours. Yours isn't sexy. Yours is cute."
I responded, "I have a 'cute' voice?"
He said, "Yep. You have a cute one."
So there you have it. I have a cute voice and a twisty colon.
Happy Tuesday.
**** If you want to do an 'Out of Tune Tuesday' next week, let me know. I'll come up with some logo this week for you to post. How fun! I love that some of you are joining in!!!!!
Hmmmm....Isn't this life's goal? To find out who we are? I want to be the person who is doing yoga on an Italian hilltop every morning while waiting for my vineyard to grow grapes for wine. Perhaps some day that will be my life. But for now, I'm a sarcastic girl who watches too much tv, sings off key, and finds shanking jokes funny.
